A look at the BIG plan …

With me, there’s ALWAYS a plan. I discovered Bullet Journalling last year … and was as happy as the proverbial pig in muck/mud/sh*t – however you choose to term it, having discovered a cool system to both simplify and maximise my planning activities!

I was in some pretty deep doo doo at the time and struggling to keep afloat, 2016 being my annus horribilis, but at least I had a ‘customizable and forgiving organization system’ to help me… And one, according to the creators of the system, that will ‘teach you to do more with less,’ surely that’s got to be a goodie for a spoonie? 

Tea is oft purported to be the cure for everything. Personally, although I like tea, I think stationery is the answer to everything. A nice new notebook, PENS, lots of lovely PENS, and paper, and labels and stickers too … oh the joy! Give me those and I’ll scribble and doodle my way to a master plan. If you’re a stationery/planner geek, you probably already know the joy of just doing a Google image search for ‘bullet journal’ …

A Bullet Journal is essentially – diary/planner, journal, to do lists, notebook, budget tracker … and anything else you need … in one. For me, a bullet journal keeps me on track but does away with the need for a multitude of ‘systems’, and it’s simplified approach does allow you to ‘do more with less’. Click here for a quick lesson if you want to learn more or start your own.

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Journal Geek-ery right there: Just looking at them makes me smile, I am THAT bad

I hadn’t named this latest plan until it just struck me that I usually do – others have been Operation Self Care and Operation Fight Back – and then I knew that I wanted this one to be called Operation Thrive. I feel a bit emotional having just written that, because thriving means so very much to me. I had a taste of it earlier last year – when I had some support for a time. I survived but I plan to thrive is this blog’s tagline. Thriving is my recovery goal. Abuse recovery to me = thriving. I can’t wave a magic wand and cure my chronic health issues but when I’m living my life to the fullest alongside them, that’ll do me! When I’m thriving I’ll know that I’ve won, that despite all the pain, and grief, and terrible terrible loss, and so much time spent just existing let alone living, I’ll know that I’ve made it. I know that I’m already a winner in that I’m not bitter, and because I’m a good person and I am, by choice. very different to the people who abused me. BUT thriving, that’s the ultimate WIN.

Operation Thrive – plan initiated 10th June, 2017

PRIORITY 1: 

  • WRITING – finally this is coming top of the list and it’s staying there.
  • Ending isolation and reducing loneliness by increasing connection
  • Reinstating routine and regaining function
  • SELF CARE!
  • Being able to get out of my flat – and then get out and about locally
  • Getting my flat ‘immaculate’ ready for a routine inspection by the landlord’s agent
  • Re-engaging with GP and getting vital health checks done
  • Taking steps to begin to tackle disordered eating
  • Psychotherapy/Trauma therapy – it’s difficult to know where to place this because of difficulties/delays with the provision of it

PRIORITY 2:

  • Starting to rebuild fitness – and taking steps to resume physiotherapy treatment
  • Visiting dentist both to resume my treatment programme to restore my smile devastated by a dental phobia caused by abuse, and also to assess damage caused by latest crisis and create further treatment plan. (Delayed by illness and financial difficulty)
  • Optician –  have overdue eye test and purchase new specs. – also delayed by illness and financial difficulty.
  • P.I.P – make a new application for Personal Independence Payments

PRIORITY 3: – can only be undertaken once a support worker/P.A. is in place (assuming the local authority awards funding)

  • Back onto a calorie counted diet
  • Increased exercise – talking walks and going swimming – and once physiotherapy is complete joining an 10 week exercise management programme for people with disabilities/chronic illness – assuming I can get onto it, if not I’ve got a Plan B 🙂 !
  • Getting out and about beyond my immediate area and support groups
  • Restarting hobbies, building new ones and making new connections – join a choir (September) and an art group

There are sub-categories to some of the above – but you get the gist as it stands! Priority 1 is all now either underway or complete.

Getting back to work is a HUGE goal, but as I am not to try to run before I can walk, for a change, I’ve not yet included it on this plan. Once I’m settled into Priority 3s, I’ll add more!

The bulk of my Bullet Journalling is at the moment centred on ‘Daily Logs’ – a list of what’s happening and what’s to be done on any given day, and daily recovery focused journal entries that I’ve called ‘Recoverlogs’ – a term shamelessly snaffled from mental health campaigner and vlogger, Jonny Benjamin. You may have seen the brilliant Channel 4 film Stranger on the Bridge about his own mental health story.

To do lists keep me on track but are also a great motivator. It feels SO good to tick … ‘done’ ! Budgeting goes in there too, shopping lists, ideas, thoughts and plans for blog posts, notes for and on therapy sessions, and so on. This plan is no small undertaking. There is no one working on it with me, no one to oversee it. My social worker is classed as my ‘key worker’ but is only involved with me as far as carrying out a social care assessment and managing the application for funding to pay for some support. My GP doesn’t know the half of it, as there is never enough time to fill him in on all that’s going on for me. I hope there’ll be an opportunity to share the plan with him at our next appointment on 3rd July.

 

 

Operation Fight Back: Day 11

Today I’m again finding myself with not enough time to blog more than briefly which is a bit of a nuisance given that it’s an important part of my self care routine. That said I am OK, nothing that better sleep, giving me a few more hours in the day, wouldn’t fix just now. Today I am busy again – this is one busy week – but it’s filled with things that are good for me. There are good things next week too but I plan to make that week overall a little less frenetic than this one!

Today’s treadmill stats:

12mins 38 – 0.72 distance and 65.6 cals – I upped the speed of the tread another notch today and I also ran slightly faster overall. I’m especially pleased with that given that I had another rotten night, waking frequently and having horrible nightmares.

Today’s further aims:

  • Out again – this time to run a few errands and go to work at my voluntary post
  • Take out the bins (this job is rather rumbling on and I’m determined to do it today!)
  • Post important letter (it’s finally written and ready to post 🙂 )
  • Make a couple of important phone calls if I can squeeze them in without making myself late for work

Operation Fight Back: Day 10!

A whole 10 days of stable mood, growing hope and confidence. Woo and indeed hoo!

I’m blogging belatedly today and so will be brief. The last two days have been very productive but also very busy. I’ll write more tomorrow. I was out and about yesterday and again today and will be every day this week until Sunday.

For now, treadmill stats for yesterday and today.

10.3.14 = 12mins 23 – 10 min run – 0.67 distance and 62.4 cals

11.3.14 = 12mins 29 – 10 min run – 0.67 distance and 62.3 cals

It’s not the minute mile but by jeebers does it feel good!

**

Tonight, I hope for better sleep.

Operation Fight Back: Day 8 – Part 1

I had a really good day yesterday. I was productive, active and communicative 🙂 .

I remembered that when I woke late this morning feeling wretched after another disturbed night. I’m going to keep remembering it AND the fact the ‘staying in the moment’ really helps me, as I plough through my morning routine. It’s 10.22am, 135 reps and treadmill here I come!

 

Operation Fight Back: Day 7

The last 24 hours or so have, I think, been my most challenging since Operation Fight Back began.

I’m still sleeping badly and that’s making things difficult. I’ve woken each day feeling progressively more awful as the week has worn on. I’m tired of nightmares and waking feeling wretched. Despite that I’ve stuck to my O-F-B routine; it feels like a lifeline… an anchor, a tether to the right side of the tracks.

Getting through my exercises yesterday and this morning was hard. I find the treadmill easier than 30 reps of each of four exercises and as many as I can manage of the fifth, only attempted for the first time this week; today I managed 15.

Today’s treadmill stats: 12 mins 32 including 10 minute run = 0.65 distance and 60.5 cals.

I ate badly yesterday, not ‘bad’ stuff just too much. Tiredness leaves me at risk of overeating.

Today’s main further aim is to get out. I need some groceries. I’m also supposed to be meeting someone for coffee later, I’m just waiting for confirmation. I know it will be restorative.

Other aims for the rest of the day: Write an email and a letter (both have been on my list for three days, both are pretty important), clean the bathroom and cook something for dinner.

I have many scribbled notes in my notebook for potential blog posts. I hope soon to make the time to write them.