Treadmill Tales – day something or other!

I’m back in the zone šŸ™‚ !! I’m hardly a boxing fan but somehow this music sums up the ‘training vibe’.

I’m feeling good – I’ll blog about the reasons for that later in the week when I’ve more time – and I was finally able to get back onto my treadmill this afternoon after a forced haitus of around two and a half weeks.

I felt like running and I did. I thought I might manage a six minute run, then I got sensible and thought I’d do four and a half minutes. As it turned out, I pushed it to five and felt jubilant. I’d finally dug out my old MP3 player. It was very cheap; it’s touchscreen but barely :-D, still it works and it’s stuffed full of all manner of music and podcasts. I love the treadmill but I need something to listen to, otherwise I get bored. I ran to the sounds of the Best of Abba.

Stats:
Time:- 5:09 minutes
Pace:- 3.7mph
Distance:- 0.30miles
Approx calories burned:- 27.3 calories

If you’re reading this in isolation, it’d be helpful for you to know that I’m returning to exercise after a long and serious illness and that I have some health issues that require me to build up slowly and carefully. Pacing is vital. I’ve crashed and burned so many times and have finally learned that lesson.

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Treadmill Tales: #12, #13 and #14

Another week of being hijacked by symptoms necessitates a slightly more creative treadmill routine.

I planned to do my session on Monday (Day 12) evening but in the end it just wasn’t possible to work it into my routine after a heavy day. My appointment at the GP surgery and a few errands had involved a good bit of exercise.

On Tuesday (Day 13) I spent 11 minutes on the treadmill and upped my pace to 3.4mph, I jogged for the first three minutes AND for the last minute. I covered 0.6miles and apparently burned around 56 calories – that’s a dark chocolate coated rice thin šŸ™‚ ! I was very pleased with all of that.

Late on Tuesday night, I brushed my teeth and almost immediately afterwards found that I had a very sore throat and neck. I then really struggled to get to sleep and was awake until around 5am. The postie, buzzing to get in, woke me just after 11am. I was too sore and out of it to make it to the door in time. He left a card advising me of two parcels too big to go through my letterbox. I’m not expecting anything so I’m very intrigued. I’ve scheduled them for redelivery tomorrow.

I was able to get it together – just about – for my therapy session at midday. On days like that therapy delivered via the telephone is a boon. I wrote some notes after what was an intense session, then showered and dressed. I walked up to the top of my road (uphill) to the postbox, to deposit a wedding card for my ex-husband and his fiancee who are getting married this month, and I picked up a few items from the nearby shop. I found the whole endeavour a bit of a struggle and then knew I was either coming down with something or having a furtherĀ spoonie flare up. I was SO delighted to seeĀ Pharmacy BobĀ at the top of his usual hour slot, avoiding the need for me to fight crushing fatigue any longer. I could barely keep my eyes open. I collapsed into bed at 4.30 and was soon asleep. I slept for around three hours then I watched some telly, had something to eat, and managed the odd message on social media. I felt rough, ached all over, my throat still hurt and I was coughing. I took paracetamol and when the achy turned to more intense pain, half wished I’d taken something stronger. I fell asleep around 1.30am and woke just after 9.30. I felt better than I had but had to take my time getting going. By lunchtime I’d completed my medication routine (one pill then wait an hour, then take my bile acid binding agent mixed up in fruit juice and wait a further 20 minutes before eating anything), showered, dressed and had something to eat.

I’m tired, sore and feeling slowed down and somewhat frustrated by that. Sitting at my desk is uncomfortable, but I really want/need to write today. I also feel rather ‘foggy’ which doesn’t help the writing. I’m behind with approving and replying to comments on here, I’m sorry about that folks, I’ll catch up as soon as I can, possibly not until I have a few more spoons at my disposal.

I hope to be able to get on the treadmill in a couple of hours time (mid afternoon) and clock up my 12 minutes. I really need to go out tomorrow if at all possible, so I’ll be concentrating on looking after myself as much as possible today to give me the best chance of doing that. At this stage, I think this is a virus. It can be difficult to tell as flu-like symptoms can come as part and parcel of my chronic illness. I really don’t like using the phrase, and prefer the euphemismĀ spoonieness! That struck me there because generally I prefer direct phrasing over euphemism. A virus on top ofĀ spoonieness (!) can be a real pest.

 

Going loopy?

I hope you’ll forgive my play on words. I like a snappy title, and a spoonie’s got to have some fun šŸ˜€ . The (excellent) Spoon Theory itself is particularly relevant to this post.

I have an appointment with my (fairly new to me) GP tomorrow afternoon to discuss the results of recent tests – blood, urine and E.C.G. They were ordered because I’ve been experiencing palpitations and episodes of breathlessness, among other new symptoms, and because my GP also found my blood pressure to be high.

In the last week alone, my skin has continued to flare, although much less dramatically thank goodness. I’ve been having joint pains (Fibromyalgia produces widespread pain but it’s felt in the soft tissues of the body), headaches and further episodes of blurry vision. This weekend I have mouth ulcers. This is on top of my usualĀ spoonieness!

I’ve twice been referred to a specialist – rheumatologist – ten years ago and again around five years ago. I was living in different cities and so went to different hospitals. The first specialist was not especially thorough. He said the results were inconclusive but that I probably have Fibromyalgia. He told me to look it up on the Internet and that was that.

Fibromyalgia and Bile Acid Malabsorption – my primary (physical) diagnoses are not progressive conditions and yet my symptoms have progressed. In the last five years alone – I have been diagnosed with Alopecia (hair loss) and Rosacea, both by a dermatologist who considered Lupus, but decided against the diagnosis on balance; Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, test results (bloods and two ultrasounds) were inconclusive but my then GP said … “it probably is that,” and so endeth the investigations; and finally I was diagnosed with Raynaud’s Disease. The (new to me) female GP who diagnosed it printed an information leaflet for me and, as we looked through it, we quickly realised that I met the criteria for secondary Raynaud’s (that’s Raynaud’s secondary to an underlying condition that’s causing the Raynaud’s) rather than primary Raynaud’s (Raynaud’s in isolation). Are you still with me?!

This prompted my second referral, with the GP querying Lupus (there’s that word again)Ā or mixed connective tissue disorder.Ā This experience of the rheumatology specialism was far more thorough. I spent several hours at the hospital undergoing numerous tests. Again the results were deemed inconclusive, and no ‘unifying’ diagnosis was made or follow up required.

I’ve been concerned for some years that a single underlying condition may link my symptoms but have accepted the various findings and got on with things as they stood.

I appear to be in active ‘flare’ at the moment, with some new symptoms, some not, and some apparent worsening (progression) of existing symptoms. A referral to a specialist generally means spending time on a waiting list. Perhaps at previous points of testing I was not ‘actively flaring’ and so the results were inconclusive. I am hoping that this time, if there is something to be found, that it will be found. Am I going ‘loopy’? In other words, do I have Lupus?

I should note that I’m not angling to have Lupus. Who would? It’s an serious auto-immune (where the immune system becomes overactive and attacks healthy tissue) disease. It can be experienced relatively mildly but can affect the major organs of the body – including the skin, and also the heart, lungs and kidneys. Like a lot of the conditions that fall into theĀ spoonie/chronic illness category, it is experienced differently from person to person. Again, like otherĀ spoonie conditions, it can be difficult to diagnose. I know that something is going on with my body and I’m concerned that if correct diagnosis hasn’t been made, that irreparable damage may be occurring unchecked.

I eat healthily (outside of the two episodes I’ve had of diagnosed eating disorder), I very rarely drink, I’ve never smoked and (outside of being incapacitated by mental illness) I am as active as possible and enjoy exercise. Ā My symptoms began occurring in my late twenties. I won’t bore you by listing them all but they and their onset are commensurate with connective tissue disorder BUT could also be otherwise explained; that is the nature of the beast.

My status as a trauma and abuse survivor has impeded diagnosis of my physical health problems. For a decade my symptoms were put down to my then depression and anxiety. It’s true that mental illness can certainly impact on the body, but there was enough to suggest that more was going on for me. It has often been ‘a fight’ to be taken seriously, and that in itself took its toll. I know that this a problem in mental illness care at least here in the UK, and that physical illness is often missed or ignored. It’s reported anecdotally and mental health charities have also taken up the issue.

Increasingly, I’ve noticed that GPs, pushed for time and with limited resources at their disposal, are tending towards doing the minimum and ‘fobbing off patients’ where possible.Ā The service appears to have become more reactive, with preventative measures taking a back seatĀ in our underfunded, over-stretched National Health Service (NHS) in the UK. This is not an attack on GPs or the NHS. I very much value the NHS. I believe that we are incredibly lucky to have such a service and should fight not only to protect it but to ensure that it’s in the best possible health, if you’ll pardon the pun.

As a result of my experiences of abuse, my ability to be assertive and to advocate for myself has been impeded. That is changing, slowly but surely. Christine who devised The Spoon Theory and helped to create an international community of people trying to live well with chronic illness, has Lupus as her primary diagnosis.Ā Spoonies are likely to tell you that it is very important to be your own best advocate. I hope I can be mine. I’ll let you know the outcome of tomorrow’s appointment.

Thank you for reading. Comments, chat and tweets are welcome as ever, particularly in this case from otherĀ spoonies who may have some thoughts on this.

Heart x

 

 

 

Treadmill Tales #5 and #6

I completed my treadmill ‘5’ at 11 this morning, clocking up the same stats as on the previous five days – 0.25 miles at a pace of 3.1mph. Slow, slow, slow but I know it’s the way I must go! Again, I enjoyed being on the treadmill on Saturday and this morning. I felt it in my knees, the left of which took a huge whack in a fall last November, today. Falls are part and parcel of my ‘spooniness’, and I’m most prone to them when stressed, rundown or insufficiently pacing. The knee issue this morning may be down to the timing of the ‘tread sesh’, those last week occurred in this afternoon or early evening, it may have been due to the pain and stiffness that are felt especially on waking and for some time afterwards, due to Fibromyalgia.

I made myself laugh while ‘treading’ on Saturday, just after writing this post, as I suddenly remembered a host of other achievements I could have listed. It cheered me anyway to remind myself of what I’m clocking up.

Sunday is a rest day – no treadmill on the plan – which was just as well as it became an ‘enforced rest’ day as it turned out. My mood was somewhat impacted, which is always a worry, and my mind was bothered at turns by grief, memories and new understanding. The latter is welcome but can be painful, often very, and is difficult without ready support.

Treadmill Tales #1 and #2Ā 

Two days down,  two days under my belt.

See yesterday’s post ‘Treadmill Tales: The Return’ for my plan of action. 

If you’re here for UBER stats you might be disappointed, I’m recovering from serious illness and have ongoing chronic conditions which mean I’ve got to start out really S-L-O-W-L-Y. 

Yesterday’s ‘five’ felt like it went on for longer than that (!) but I still felt the thrill of being on the treadmill and remembered how good it felt to run. I swallowed my frustration and walked as planned. I wasn’t paying huge attention but think my pace was 2.5 miles per hour.

I got on the treadmill just after 7 this evening, to my surprise really after a long, productive and active day. The ‘five’ flew by, I enjoyed it and felt I could’ve gone on for longer.my speed was 3.1 miles and I covered a wee quarter of a mile! 

Now I’ve had dinner and finally ‘flopped’ … all I want to do is sleep! 

Heart x 

Treadmill Tales: The Return

Tales from my treadmill were once a regular feature on this blog. I charted my journey from ‘last person on Earth to consider taking up running’ to the person who not only purchased REAL running shoes from a PROPER specialist store but also purchased and proudly displayed this sign.

I got to Ā the stage where I could not only run for a bus, I could run a mile on my treadmill and did so five or six days a week. I could also run up the stairs to my second floor flat when I moved in here a little under three years ago.

I have a treadmill (running machine) at home. I used to have an exercise bike but switched to a treadmill when I found my bike too uncomfortable to use after my Fibromyalgia diagnosis. Long time readers of my blog may remember my deciding that, in my early forties and having just left my marriage, I wanted to take up running … and teach myself to knit … as you do.

I’m not at all ‘sporty’. I love walking and used to do it semi seriously, walking in Snowdonia and the Lake District among other places, anywhere from three to 12 miles a time. With Fibromyalgia, exercise can be a difficult undertaking; pacing is vital and any activity must be built up slowly in small increments. If you remember my drive and Tigger instincts, you’ll know that this does not come naturally to me. I’m ambitious and I’m competitive too, especially with myself. I started off walking for a few minutes at a time built up through longer and faster walks to a slow jog and then a moderate jog, until finally I could moderately jog a slow-ish mile, and did so five or six times a week.

For much of the first half of this year I couldn’t walk up the stairs to my flat, let alone run up them. With an eating disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Depression and severe isolation and loneliness having led to serious weight gain and a complete loss of fitness and stamina, I now face an uphill climb. It is daunting. I am being very positive and very Tigger about it, but this blog is the place where I can tell it like it is and I need to acknowledge that I am concerned in spite of my enthusiasm and determination. I know what it took to lose five stones (a hangover from my first ‘run in’ with Binge Eating Disorder), and I had some support then. Now it’s just me and I am much less well physically now than I was then.

So anyway, here’s the plan – starting today:

  • Walking at a gentle pace for FIVE MINUTES each day for the next FIVE DAYS
  • Day off
  • Walking at a gentle pace for FIVE MINUTES for ONE DAY
  • Walking at a gentle pace for SIX MINUTES for ONE DAY
  • Walking at a gentle pace for SEVEN MINUTES for ONE DAY
  • and so on … increasing by one minute each day
  • Take a day off every SIXTH day
  • and after reaching 10 minutes, continuing to increase the time spent walking by a minute each day but also beginning to increase the pace, slowly, each day thereafter.

This is undoubtedly a slower approach that I would like. I’d love to leap in and although beginning with walking would love to start pushing myself harder, and quickly. I don’t much like making concessions to my chronic illnesses but although driven, I’m not daft … at least not now after more than a decade spent battling the blessed things. I may adjust the above plan, as I go, but I promise to only ever do it sensibly šŸ™‚ .

I’ll make a brief daily treadmill progress report post because I find that accountability helps to keep me motivated and also because a fellow blogger and I are both getting back to using our treadmills and hope to encourage each other. (Hello ‘manyofus’!)

Thanks for reading – as ever comments welcome.

Heart x