A new group … or Day 5 of The Rest of My Life

Today has been particularly challenging. I’ve been reeling from big news that I received yesterday. It’s triggered the pain of loss and exacerbated intense feelings of loneliness.

I woke very early this morning – sometime around six o’clock. Realising that I wasn’t about to get back to sleep easily, I set about being productive and wrote a blog post. Still the difficult feelings persisted although I continued to be productive but carefully pace myself, and also took time to relax. Around lunchtime, feeling worse, I took myself off to bed, in the hope that a nap might help. Sometimes it’s the only option to try to halt a complete mood crash and descent into crisis, when no support is available. I slept peaceable enough and woke around 3:30pm, at first slightly disorientated. My mood was still flat.

I knew what I must do and that is be productive again. I set the dishwasher going, refilled my water jug, took some painkillers, tweeted the link to my earlier blog post, brushed and straightened my hair and put on some make up before sitting down at my desk to write this post and send a couple of important emails.

I’m due to go out in a little over an hour. I plan to try out a local craft group. It’s held a short walk from my place, lasts just 90mins and there’s free tea and cake! I am so isolated and the more I can engage, #spoons permitting, the better. I am anxious about going along. My comfort zone is to be on top form in the company of others, which, in my situation, is quite frankly exhausting. The aim this evening is just to get there and try not to put myself under pressure to perform. The aim is to make that effort but not strain myself. After all, this is supposed to be about getting fun and engagement into my life!

Wish me luck!

 

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7 thoughts on “A new group … or Day 5 of The Rest of My Life

  1. First, really well done for planning on going out to the group, no matter of whether you made it or how you were at the group, just making that decision is a huge step. I’m currently in the grip of social isolation and it’s been getting worse rather than better, even to the point where I won’t go out to Tesco which is two minutes away from where I live. Even though rationally I know it’s not doing me any good, I’ve not being able to take that step. So give yourself credit, it’s a big step, and reward yourself for doing it. The rest of your life awaits so sieze the day, when you feel able and grab the opportunities when you can. Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Ruth,

      Thanks so much for your comment. I’m both glad that you understand how I’m feeling but also so sorry that you’re also experiencing such isolation. I’ve been where you are. Thank you for your encouragement, I really do appreciate it. I feel like someone is in my corner, cheering me on. There’ll be a way back for you; I’m sure of it. In the meantime, keep in touch on Twitter and know that I’m in your corner too.
      Best x

      Like

      • Thank you so much, that means a lot. I’ve felt inspired by your blog post, and on Friday I’m going to the hairdresser. Not on my own, but with my mum, however, it feels like a step in the right direction, so thank you.
        You are truly an inspiration, but I understand how hard it is, so if you ever fancy a chat, or are feeling low, DM me, and I’ll give you my number/email. Take care. Xx

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I hope that you make it to the craft group, and get some reward from interacting with others, and attempting the crafting. Starting small can lead to more than you might imagine.
    Either way, it must be worth trying.
    Best wishes, Pete.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi R,

      I’ve been meaning to reply to your comment for ages, but have been very poorly. 2016’s been a hellish year. I know that you share my politics and it’s been as bad personally as it’s been politically, In the last couple of weeks alone, I’ve had divorce papers in the post, contact from an abuser for the first time in nine years, after they tracked me down 😦 , and a close friend died suddenly a week ago. Ugh.
      I am holding up, and I am doing better. It’s been a hairy year and there have been times when I’ve lost hope and felt I couldn’t fight anymore., I wanted to say how much I really appreciated your message. You are equally inspiring. I’ve love to swap email/numbers. I saw your tweet about being around on social media over the coming days, I will be too.
      Hope you’re holding up. I’ve not had a chance to catch up with your tweets for a while. I haven’t been around there much myself.

      All best to you, Take care.

      x x

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      • Sorry to hear your news. 2016 has been a bad year all round indeed, and I will be glad to see the back of it. One of my dearest friends is currently dying of bone cancer in a hospice, and it is mainly that which was causing my slump.
        Feel free to email any time. petejohnson50@yahoo.com
        Not much point having my number, as the phone signal is terrible here.
        Fingers crossed for a better year in 2017. Pete. x

        Like

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